I'm Always Angry
by Risknight
Summary: Penny walks into 4A and finds herself in the middle of an Avengers debate.
1. Chapter 1

**I just read the Superhero Complex by griggles. If you haven't, you should. It's incredible. I loved it so much, it hooked me into writing this story. I couldn't even paused to do the dishes until I finished writing this one out. That's why the sink is still full. Honest. **

**Seriously though, after reading her story, I was struck by inspiration. Any mistakes are unintentional. I wrote this out in four hours and only went over it once before publishing.**

* * *

All Penny planned on doing was popping in for a quick 'goodnight' before heading to her own apartment and taking a nice, long, hot bath. She was doing her best (most days) to maintain her friendship with the guys, but to be honest, it wasn't easy.

Leonard was dating Priya again after their beta test ended badly. Bernadette was busy with Howard, planning their wedding. Raj was back in therapy, and gone a lot. Penny still wasn't entirely comfortable with Sheldon's friend Amy, who seemed to have some creepy habits. As for Sheldon…well, she wasn't sure what was going on there. Sometimes he would look at her like he wanted to say something, but he never did.

Penny sighed as she hesitated outside the door. When had she gotten so tired? When had she stopped caring about her own happiness? She gave her head a shake. Did it matter when? The fact was, she had. And she had no idea what to do about it. So, she was just going to go in, smile, say good night, and go home.

Instead, she walked into a debate of Avenger sized proportions.

"No one in their right mind would believe you were Captain America!" Raj argued, beer in hand. "Seriously, dude! If anything, you're Ant-man!"

"Is that a joke about my height?" Howard demanded.

Leonard snickered. "Well, I'd be Iron Man, obviously."

Penny started the close the door, stepping back into the hallway quietly. Hopefully no one would notice her.

"Bestie!"

Damn, Penny muttered under her breath.

"Look," Bernadette said loudly. "Penny's here. Let's stop talking about this and greet our friend," she said with false brightness.

"Actually, I was just going to say I'm home, and head to bed," Penny interjected, still hoping for a quick getaway.

Sheldon hurried over and grabbed Penny's hand, much to everyone's surprise, and pulled her to the kitchen. "Penny, you are familiar with the Avengers movie. Please give us your opinion on which Avenger each of us most closely represents," he ordered firmly.

"Sheldon, Penny only watched it once, and she spent half the movie texting," Leonard protested. He still wasn't happy with Penny, despite his renewed relationship with Priya.

"Penny has watched the movie on at least five occasions," Sheldon corrected. "Once with the group and four times in her own apartment."

Penny blushed as everyone looked at her in surprise. She wanted to pinch Sheldon for ratting her out, but he still hadn't released her hand.

"How do you know that?" Amy asked a bit frostily.

Sheldon's hand twitched in hers, but his expression remained calm. "I have heard it playing through her door on four occasions. It is possible she has watched it more than that, but I could not attest to it."

Amy relaxed slightly, but her eyes kept darted back and forth between the two of them. Leonard looked at Penny with disbelief.

"But you hate those movies," he whined. "I tried to get you to watch Thor and Iron Man, and you hated them."

Penny shrugged. "Still do." She turned to Raj. "So, what's going on?"

"We cannot agree on which superhero from the Avengers we each have the most in common with. What do you think?"

"I think it's a stupid argument," Penny grumbled. Sheldon opened his mouth but Penny quickly held up a hand. "Fine. Leonard is Captain American, Howard is Hawkeye, Raj is Thor and Sheldon is Iron Man."

Immediately everyone began to protest. After a few seconds Penny stuck two fingers in her mouth and whistled loudly. "Look, you asked, I answered. Goodnight."

She turned to walk away, but Sheldon held on tight. "Explain your choices," he demanded. Penny thought about shaking him off, but once again he had that look in his eyes. It was like he was trying desperately to say something he was unable to say.

Her shoulders drooped and she sighed. "Howard is Hawkeye, because he has all those cool trick arrows. He's more… plain human than the others. Raj is Thor because he has an appreciation for religion and tradition, plus an affinity for the stars. He's sort of…noble. Leonard is Captain America because he thinks of himself as the boy scout. He thinks he's morally superior to everyone else. Sheldon as Iron Man should be obvious. Genius, playboy, philanthropist, capable of building a big metal suit and bragging about it."

Leonard laughed out loud. "Sheldon a playboy?"

Penny shrugged. "Look at all the grad students who moon over him every semester. He's not above taking advantage of their crushes to get free meals or slave labor."

"Philanthropist?" Howard asked curiously.

"He loaned me money without asking for interest," Penny said with a shrug. "How many times has he paid for everyone's meal, or loaned you guys money, or even just paid for some trip or movie without being asked to? Sheldon gives to several charities, and helps support his Meemaw."

"None of us can argue genius," Raj said with a pout.

"Well, we all know who Penny would be," Howard said with a cheesy leer.

"Black Widow," said almost everyone.

"Fury," Sheldon said firmly.

Leonard's eyes bugged out. "What? No! She's Natasha!" He looked around the room for support. "Right?"

"She's Fury," Sheldon argued. "She brought the group together in it's current form. She holds us accountable, also."

"Actually, no," Penny said softly, tugging her hand from Sheldon's. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked over Bernadette's head at the wall. "I'm the Hulk."

Amy snorted with a hint of derision. "The Hulk was a man of science."

Penny shook her head. "Bruce Banner was a man of science. The Hulk was a creature ruled by his emotions. He was anger personified." Penny's expression was pained as she seemed to withdraw emotionally. "He was only capable of destruction."

An uncomfortable silence descended on the group for several seconds. Suddenly Penny smiled blandly at the group. "Bernadette is Natasha. Super sexy and trained to use a gun. Amy is Pepper Potts, always there to help Iron Man."

Everyone looked deep in thought so Penny took the opportunity to make her escape. Once inside her own apartment she leaned back against the door and closed her eyes. Tonight she had come closer to complete and open honest than she ever had before. Slowly she straightened and headed to the bathroom. The most heartbreaking line of the movie echoing in her head.

"_That's my secret, Captain. I'm always angry."_


	2. Chapter 2

Sheldon grimaced as he sat up in bed. He glanced at the alarm clock and noted it was only 12:43 am. He had been unable to achieve REM sleep tonight. Penny's words kept floating through his mind. Her Avengers analysis kept bothering him. He had known the debate was silly, but it had distracted him from his ennui.

Lately he had found little to interest him in his daily life. He wasn't sure why, but he found no stimulation in talking with his friends, tv, or even his comic books. But Penny had started something changing inside him tonight. It surprised him how quickly she had answered. That implied she had already given this matter some thought. That begged the question, had she been analyzing the movie and related it to the group, or analyzing the group and related it to the movie? He was also disturbed by her assertion she was similar to the Hulk.

He had discovered long ago that neither he nor Leonard were the core of the group. When Priya had tried to remove Penny from the group the first time, things had fallen apart. Howard and Raj argued constantly. Leonard was often gone. He had spent much of his time alone. It was Penny who brought Bernadette into the group. It was Penny who made Amy part of it. Sure, he had known Amy longer, but it wasn't until Penny and Amy became friends that Amy became part of the group.

How could Penny be similar to a mindless creature of destruction when the group depended on her so deeply? No. She was Fury. She brought them together and made them a team.

Sheldon stood and pulled on his robe. He was never going to get to sleep until he talked to Penny and corrected her. He headed through the apartment and into the hallway. He paused when he got close to her door. She was watching the movie again. He could hear Iron Man and Captain America talking above the sound of plasma rifles. He felt as if he was suddenly on the precipice of something life-changing. His courage failed him and he turned toward his apartment. He hesitated outside his own door for several heartbeats.

"I lied."

He spun quickly to see Penny standing in her doorway, her hands clasped behind her. It was vaguely reminiscent of how he stood when lecturing someone. "What about?" he asked quietly.

"Amy is Loki," Penny said sadly. "Desperate for love, attention and validation. She's not going to be satisfied as part of the group. She's going to want to be the center of our world, and she'll destroy every last one of us until she gets it."

He heard Captain America tell the Hulk to get angry. Penny's mouth moved silently as she mimed the words of Dr. Banner. _"That's my secret, Captain. I'm always angry."_

Penny walked over and pulled Sheldon into a hug. "Promise me you won't stop being you," she whispered against his chest. "Promise me you'll always be a beautiful mind. Most of all, promise me it's not too late."

He wrapped his arms tentatively around her shoulders, fear cramping his stomach. He refused to promise her anything. (Lie.) He had no idea what she was talking about. (Lie.) She was probably just drunk and over-emotional. (Lie. Lie. Lie!)

He froze when he felt her tears soak through his flannel top. It was surprising enough to shock him out of his normal blindness to the world around him. Slowly he pulled back from Penny. He stared at her moss colored eyes for a moment before bending and lightly pressing his lips to hers. "I promise," he whispered into her mouth.

* * *

When dawn broke Sheldon stepped into the shower and drew back on the psychological armor he used to protect himself from a world he didn't understand. Only now, there was a wariness about him. A glimmer in his eyes that said he had lost something valuable.

* * *

Just north of Vegas a blonde stepped off a bus and shouldered the backpack that contained every dime she owned, two shirts, a pair of jeans, the first Penny Blossom she ever made and a dvd. An older woman stepped off the bus behind her and smiled kindly as the blonde helped her gather her bags.

"Thank you, dear," the older woman said. "You know, I never did catch your name."

The blonde smiled sadly. "You're welcome, Mrs. Collins. My name is Banner. Belinda Banner."

Mrs. Collins watched as the young woman turned and headed down the sidewalk, backpack over one shoulder. There was something incredibly sad about the blonde. She said a quick prayer for Belinda's safety before being distracted by her grandchildren clamoring for her attention. When she paused to look back down the sidewalk, it was empty.

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**As I've said before, my mind is a warped little place. Sometimes it surprises even me with how it comes up with things. You'd think that as a dedicated Shenny, I'd always go for a happy ending. Unfortunately, my mind doesn't always listen to my heart. Sometimes my mind gets angry and pounds my heart into the floor of a penthouse again and again until it's whimpering and broken.**


End file.
